Cuttin and pastin.

24-hour protection.

you can't go getting mad at people because they're shitty.
life will do that for them.

still waiting.

"when you're married to the bawse, sometimes it's just best to do as she says. otherwise you're liable to end up shot or bit."
the "married life" if is a fun, twisted journey.

incubator purgatory.

for every time he makes me blush, i'm charging him a dollar.
2-liters of diet coke are on sale at dollar general for $1.
i see this as a win-win.

craving beans.

the muffin man carries whips and chains! RRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!

Long time coming.

less than one week after telling the boss i will never run again (unless running from something like a hungry lion, a man with a bigger gun than me, or creditors), tonight sophia and i ran.
about two miles, at that.

in my defense, it was raining.
in his defense, we left on our "walk" in the rain.

Kong stuffing.

spit into the wind.

partly sunny.

i laugh every time i pass this.
hehe

still smilin.

for the win:
"yesterday you said if i wasn't resting you'd punch a kitten."
"but you didn't yesterday. KITTEN PUNCH!!!!!! it's like the hulk smash, but with more crying kittens and less green skin."

chance.

stolen. from somewhere.

A child came crying to his mother and complained that he has severe stomach-ache. She told him, “It is because your belly is empty. Come and have some food.” The child obeyed.

The next day the mother had a heavy head ache. The child consoled her, saying innocently, “Mommy, it is because your head is empty!”

On another occasion, the curious child asked his mother, “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?” She tried to use this occasion to reform him. “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!” The child replied innocently, “Now I know why your mother has only grey hairs on her head.”

muffin man.

pool boys.

"washington is next."
"good."
"cancer slaying first."
"yeah slay that shit. i'll punch your cancer in the face if it don't leave you alone!"
"i effing believe that!"
"damn right! ha!"
"go for the nose..."
"i'm gonna punch your cancer so hard in the brain that all it can think about are my fists!"
"are you sure you're not really chuck norris?"

make it go away.

Cutest thing ever:
http://hipsterpuppies.tumblr.com/

back from the dead.

reallllllllllllly?

feel good finds.

work was honest about what was coming, at least.
kinda like maxim magazine's "found porn" from back in the day.

long time coming.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

beer me!

ill skills.

(what? your snowmen weren't drunks? eff you.)

docta docta

but... it (still) is. hahaha dammit.

my hero.

happy eating!